Happy 16th Birthday Reynna

Today is my daughter Reynna's sweet 16. I absolutely cannot believe how fast the last 16 years have gone. My Reynna was an answer to my prayers and I was just ecstatic as could be when I found out I was pregnant with her.

Tomorrow, we will go get her driver's license. She is also now at the age we feel it is appropriate to date -- EEEK!!. She is so beautiful and smart and funny. She is also very talented and excels at school, with her singing, dance and karate.

At a time in life when it might not be easy at school to do the unpopular thing, my sweet Reynna makes the choices to stay away from things and activities that could hurt her, even when this costs her friendships.  She is an example to many, including myself.

I am so proud of the beautiful young woman that she is, both inside and out. Reynna, I love you so much and hope you have an amazing birthday.

Here are a few photos of her throughout the last few years. Thanks for indulging me on this journey.

Happy 20th Birthday Hannah

October 16th has been a hard day for the last 20 years as it was the day I gave birth to my precious daughter that I gave up for adoption. I've blogged about her birthday the last several years -- part of it was expressing my love, part was expressing my grief and part was a tribute to my sweet daughter.

Many of you know that I was recently reunited with my daughter and my blog posts on her birthdays the last few years played a part in her truly knowing that she had found her mother.

It is with a cheerful heart that I wish my sweet Hannah a happy 20th birthday.

Hannah is everything that I could have wished for. She is smart, talented and beautiful. She has a testimony of her Savior. She was raised by a wonderful family.

Hannah, I love you so much. Thank you for having the desire to find me. My heart is full knowing that my family is now complete.

A Reunion

Some of you may recall posts I have done the last several years on October 16th.  That is my daughter's birthday -- the daughter that I gave up for adoption nearly 20 years ago. Many of you expressed such sweet wishes on those posts and I thought I would update you with what has happened in the last 18 hours.

Here is what I put on FaceBook.

I am in utter shock and disbelief. My daughter that I gave up for adoption nearly 20 years ago has found me and wants to be part of my life.

This has been something that I have yearned for and the Lord (and the internet) has finally brought us together.

I just spent the last hour and a half talking with this beautiful woman. Words cannot express the joy I have in my heart.

 Hannah, I love you with all my heart and can't wait to see you.

I am left without many words. Yesterday was a day I dreamed of for many, many years. I didn't know if it would ever happen. I didn't know if my sweet daughter would want to find her birth mother. It turns out that she did.  I am aiming for next weekend to go meet her and give her the biggest hug ever and to have our long awaited for reunion.

Thanks friends for letting me share my immense joy with you. Hugs to each of you!

Happy 11th Birthday Christopher

Today, my sweet Christopher turns 11.  I thought I would write down my favorite 11 things about him - in no particular order.

1. That he is sensitive and wants there to be peace in our home
2. That he loves his puppy and will talk to her on their walks
3. That he asks for good grades in his prayers
4. That he will still let me give him hugs and kisses
5. That he will give me hugs and kisses still
6. That he wants to be a video game designer when he grows up
7. That he prays each night for his Aunt Heather and Uncle Steve to get pregnant
8. That he wants to go to the University of Southern California
9. That he still loves school
10. That he loves Cub Scouts
11. That he can make me crazy one moment and then melt my heart the next

I love you Christopher and am so glad I get to be your mother.

Happy 19th Birthday Arianne

Today, as I've done for the past few years since I've had this blog, I am wishing my sweet baby girl, Arianne, a very happy birthday. If you want, you can see those posts here, here, here and here.

Today, the daughter that I didn't get to raise turns 19 years old. She entered this world six weeks too early. She was so small and tiny and needed help to eat. Today, she turns 19, and I am left wondering how the two week old infant I left behind is doing.

Is she attending her first year of college?  Does she have a boyfriend? Maybe she is married?  What music does she like? Did her hair stay brown?  Does she know that she has another mother, one that loved her so much that she felt a better life with two parents would be best for her? Does she know that my heart aches for her and that I am desperate to meet her, to hold her, to tell her I love her?

Does she know that the day I said goodbye to her has been the hardest day of my life and that the last 19 years have been filled with many, many hard days as I mourn my loss -- a loss that I have never gotten over, a loss that still haunts me?

Arianne, my fervent prayer and desire is that you and I will be reunited one day. I think of you always.

Much love,
Your Mother

Happy 18th Birthday Arianne

It's Arianne's 18th birthday today.  The last time I saw her was when she was 2 weeks old, the day that I placed her in the arms of her adoptive parents.  It's hard to believe that it's been 18 years.  That was almost half my life ago. 

It's hard for me to think of her as a woman and not the precious baby that I said goodbye to.  Although I said goodbye to her that day and left her for another mother and father to raise, I never said goodbye in my heart -- a heart that has never stopped grieving. 

My heartache has been immense and I mostly try to keep it bottled up inside, as to not to have to feel the pain and loss, that I still bear.  I have made my struggle public, just a bit, as I have shared my thoughts about her on her birthdays the last few years of which I've had a blog.

I have so many questions.  Like did her parents tell her that she was adopted?  They told me they wouuld.  Does she know that I have loved her every day of her life and that I've never stopped thinking about her.  If she knows that I exist, does she think about me?  Does she want to meet me? What color hair does she have?  How tall is she?  Is she athletic?  Has she enjoyed high school?  Has she stayed close to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?  Of course, those are just the tip of the iceberg. 

Arianne, I love you.  I wish you all the very best and I hope and pray, that someday, we will be reunited, and that I will get to know you and the wonderful person that I'm sure you've become.

For now, I will leave you all with a picture of me and my sweet baby, taken nearly 18 years ago.  

Happy Sweet 16 Arianne

This is my second post for today.  If you're looking for my Unscripted Sketches post for the blog hop, scroll down one post.

Those of you who have been readers for awhile now might remember this post from 2008 and this one from 2009 wishing my sweet baby Arianne a very happy birthday.  Well, my baby, that I only ever knew as a baby, is growing up and turns 16 today.  It's hard for me to think of her as a teenager because I only have pictures of her from her first year of life. 

I thought I'd share a layout I did featuring pictures taken when she was 2 weeks old, in the room where I said goodbye to her and placed her in the arms of her eager adoptive parents.

Arianne, I love you with all my heart.  I can only pray that you know that your birth mother loves you with all of her heart and that I did what I did because of that great love.  Sweet blessings to you and your family. 

With all my love,
Your mother

Some news I wanted to share

This is my second post for the day. 

Okay, the day has finally come.  Can you guess what happened?   Scroll down to see.  Are you guessing? 



































I PASSED MY LAST PORTION OF MY EXAM!!!!  I am so excited.  Words cannot express my joy and gratitude.  I need to do a couple of things, more of a formality, and then I will be issued a license number.  New business cards are already being made.  No more studying for me.  My family will get me back full-time.

Thanks to all of my readers who offered good thoughts and prayers.  They were answered. 

A big Thank you and Look what I'm Getting!!!

So, today I turned 36.  Or as I told somebody, 26 (with a pause) plus 10.  :)  First, thank you to all my blogging friends who sent birthday cards. They are all so gorgeous and I'm proudly displaying them. I just love getting handmade cards.

Second, look what I'm getting. "Hubby" bought it from Ebay for my birthday. It should be here soon.  What a great hubby he is.  He knew just what I wanted and I didn't have to drop any hints or coerce him at all.  LOL.

I'm super excited for it to come and cannot wait to link up my cartridges and start playing!!!!!

So the big day is in 3 days.  Really, only 2 after today is over.  I am SO over studying and staying late at work to study and getting to work early to study.  I'll say my mantra again.  I think I can, I think I can. 

I miss all of you so much and can't wait to get back to some hopefully regular posting and commenting. 

What's been happening in my life

I'm sorry that I've been MIA for the past couple of weeks. Life has been crazy. We went out of town for Christmas which was nice but always stressful. The night we were travelling, I found out that my uncle, who has liver cancer, was rushed to the hospital. I was able to see him in the ICU which I'm so grateful for. We stayed with Devin's family but my aunt and uncle only live about 45 minutes away.

That same day, I found out that I did NOT pass my last exam. It looks like more studying is in my very near future. Of course, I am SO not happy about this.  At least my score came in a timely fashion so I have a good chunk of time to study again before the next testing window closes.

Then, on our way back from Utah, about 3 miles from home, our car died. Turns out, the timing belt broke, and we're still waiting to hear if a rod in the engine also broke. I am very grateful that this happened so close to home and not in the middle of Wyoming at night time with snow.

Yesterday, my uncle passed away.  All of his children were there and I know that we will see him again someday. It's still so hard. He wasn't even 60 years old. My heart aches for my aunt and cousins. He was such a good and kind hearted man.

Whew.  Anyway, I've missed blogging terribly. I haven't been in my craft room for almost 2 weeks. I'm going through withdrawals and it looks like my time is going to be limited there coming up. I do have a couple of items to post but I just haven't even felt like it since we've been home.

Life is certainly crazy but I am counting the many blessings I do have in my life. I'm also reflecting on the new year coming up and the changes I want to make.  We'll see how it all unfolds.

I hope that you all had a very merry Christmas. I'm sorry that I haven't been visiting and commenting much of late. Thanks for all your comments and visits and I especially appreciate the cards I received from my blogging friends this Christmas. It was so nice to come home after our trip and have several cards waiting for me. What a nice pick me up after such a crazy week.

Until later, my friends.

And now the waiting begins

Well, I survived my test today. I won't sugar coat it. It was brutally hard and there is a good chance I'll have to retake it again. But for the next 6 weeks or so, I am free and clear of studying. Yahoo!!!

Thanks for everyone who has taken the time to visit and leave comments during my hiatus. Thanks for all the good wishes as well.  They mean a lot. I've got a lot of catching up to do. I've missed you all terribly.

I'll see you back here tomorrow with my card for Penny's challenges. Until then, have a fabulous afternoon and evening.  We're planning on a family game night tonight. 

Happy 10th Birthday Reynna

Well, it was 10 years ago today that my sweet daughter Reynna was born. I can't believe she's in double digit years already. We were contemplating not having a friend party this year when she then informed me that we had to because she would be double digits. A very important milestone, I suppose.

So, 10 years ago, I was having mild contractions throughout the day but nothing crazy at all. At around 9:00 that night, things started to progress a bit. The pain was a bit more intense but still nothing too crazy. Well, around 10:30, I decided that maybe it was time to go to the hospital.

Boy, I'm glad I didn't wait another minute. By the time I got there, my labor was in full swing and I was too far along and in too much pain to even fill out the paperwork beforehand. Reynna was born around 11:45 that night. She came quickly (so quickly that there was no time for any epidural or other drugs) but things went great.

I was so happy to have my sweet daughter in my arms. If you've been following my blog, then you know how happy I was that this baby was mine, all mine. It's not as if having Reynna could replace Arianne but it definitely helped.

So we are going to Red Robin as a family tonight to celebrate. A couple of months ago, she entered a contest at Red Robin designing a burger. Well, her burger was chosen as the winner for our local store. With this came a $40 gift card, a nice certificate with her name on it and the name of her burger (the Western Dippin' Burger) and the chance to move forward in the competition. She's one of 430 kids who will move onto the next round, where the contestants will be narrowed to 50. The next cut is 10 with the final winner receiving a grand prize of a family trip to Walt Disney World.

Anyway, supposedly Reynna's name is on some wall at our local restaurant and her burger is being offered. We have this on a friend's authority. Needless to say, I'll definitely be bringing my camera tonight to dinner. I'm hoping that I can get a picture of her next to her name. Pretty cool, huh? She is on cloud 9 about this whole thing.

Happy birthday baby! I love you very much and hope that your 10th birthday is fabulous.

Happy 15th Birthday Arianne

October 16th is a very special day, as it was that day that I went into pre-term labor at 34 weeks and gave birth to my sweet baby girl Arianne Raquel. I blogged about her 14th birthday here. I can’t believe that 15 years have passed since that eventful day. I was just a mere 20 year old with the weight of the world on my shoulders. Sad circumstances led to my unplanned pregnancy and I agonized for months on what to do. I finally decided that my sweet baby would have a better home with two parents. I did get to spend two glorious weeks with my little girl before I had to say goodbye. I visited her each day in the NICU and would spend hours there just holding her, watching her, and wondering if I was making the right decision. Two weeks later, I said goodbye to my baby and placed her in the arms of her new parents, who were chosen by me just a couple of weeks earlier.

The road has been long and full of much heartache, which will never fully go away. I also rejoice in the life that I was able to bring into this world and the blessing that she was to parents who so desperately wanted a baby. With that, I wish my sweet Arianne a very happy 15th birthday. It’s hard for me to even think of her as a teenager as this is one of the last pictures I have. Aahhh, the world of adoption was so much different in 1994 than it is now.

I hope one day that I will be able to be reunited with my precious girl and that she knows how much I love her and that my heart has never stopped aching for her. I love you Arianne.

A 77

This is my 2nd post today. Scroll down for my Penny's challenge post.

I took my regulation part of my test 4 1/2 weeks ago for the 5th time. This morning, I found out that I PASSED! A 75 is needed and I got a 77!!!!!!!

I am doing the biggest happy dance ever. This has been SUCH a struggle for me. I appreciate the fact that they just don't want to be giving anyone a CPA license but never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be this hard.

Anyway, I am now just 1 test away from my license. I'm three quarters of the way there. I cannot believe it. I am still in shock. I could go on rambling for quite some time here but I'll just go saying that today should be a good day! And thank you to everyone who wished me well the past few weeks when I took the exam and as I've waited for it.

Woo Hoo!

I can now tell you that I've been chosen as a design team member for Unscripted Sketches. I am SO excited to join the other talented ladies. New sketches are posted each Saturday. I've also added links to all the other design team members blogs. Be sure and check them out. There's a lot of talent on the team.

In other news, I survived my test. Now the even more fun part comes. Waiting, waiting, and more waiting. It will be a few weeks before I will probably get my result. Thanks to everyone's well wishes, thoughts, and prayers for a passing score today. It means a lot and I'm hoping that I'm now 3/4 of a CPA. I'll be taking the rest of this week off and then will start studying for the (hopefully) final part next week. It's the biggest and hardest part out of the 4, which is why I saved it until the last.

So how are you liking my 3-column blog? I had intended for it to be set up with a column flanking either side of my blog posts but it didn't turn out that way. I'm not sure what I did wrong but for now, this will work.

Devin starts his class tonight and with me not studying this week, guess what that means? Yep. I'm heading down to the craft area. YEAH! Thanks for the visit and have a terrific Monday.

Happy Anniversary

Now every so often, my husband pops on my blog to see what's going on. So I thought I would shout out Happy Anniversary to him. Yep, today is our 11th anniversary. I honestly can't believe it's been so long. Where does the time go? Anyway, I love you Devin and am so happy to have you for my eternal companion.

I've missed paper crafting. Making 1 card over the past week or so just hasn't cut it but I must stay the course and choose studying over crafting at the moment. I'm also sorry that I haven't had much of a chance to come visit everyone and leave the comments that I typically do.

I hope that each of you has a great Friday and a terrific weekend. Until later.

This and that

There's a lot to mention in this post-- a little of this and a little of that. Christina, an awesome CTMH consultant, gave me this fun award this week. Thanks so much Christina.

Second, I'll be designing for Penny's challenges. I'm so excited to join her and the other members of the design team. Check back on Wednesday for that. She does have a current challenge going on right now which you can find here. Also, be sure and check out her other blog here. Such great art there.
Third, Devin is at his second sleep study tonight. He then has an appointment with the doctor on Tuesday which is where he will get the prescription for the CPAP machine. I'm not sure if it's something that has to be ordered or if he will come home with the machine that night. I'm hoping it's the latter so that he can start getting good sleep and stop not breathing 90 times an hour.
Fourth, my firm's United Way BBQ/fundraiser went very well. I bought a bit too much food but hey, I don't want to be known as the hostess whose party ran out of food. Never a good thing. We raised a good chunk of money for our campaign, almost $450. I think everyone had a good time but boy, am I glad it's over. It's going to take a while to recover from this week. The basket I won had a gift certificate in it for a 1-hour massage plus lots of other fun items. It was an accountant's survival guide. I wish I could get the massage right now.
Fifth, my next CPA exam is on the calendar now in just a few weeks so my blogging time will be pretty limited until then. I wish I was super woman and could do it all, but alas, my super powers never arrived. LOL. Do check back now and then though as I don't intend to completely fall of the face of the earth.
Sixth, if you've made it this far, kudos to you. Also, thanks to each one of you for taking the time to come here and visit my spot in the world. It truly means the world to me and I wish you all the very best this weekend.

Fresh raspberries and some other ramblings

Three years ago, we got some tiny raspberry starts from Devin's grandma's house in Idaho. The first winter that they were planted here, we had a crazy blizzard that left our city literally paralyzed with all the snow. But our little raspberry starts, that were nothing but twigs when we planted them 3 years ago, survived that terrible winter.

Fast forward 3 years from then and this is what we have. A large area of raspberries, and this should be our best year yet. The bushes produced a few berries last year but this year, WOW. I'm so excited to eat these. I'm going to pick a few of the really ripe ones today and have myself a nice little snack. Then, when the family is back, I'm thinking there will be a lot more that will be ready to be picked. I'm so excited about these little berries, that I just had to share them with you.

We don't have any other kind of garden to speak of. I'm afraid we wouldn't survive long if we had to fend for ourselves. But, we have these little gems. In the first picture, you can see a new start coming up all by its lonesome. Yeah!

As for other fronts in my life, I still haven't made it to my craft area yet. I've been trying to do my chores first. I did take my dear friend out for dinner last night to celebrate her birthday. We went to Red Robin and enjoyed a yummy dinner. Shannon, I love you and am glad to have such a good friend like you.

I also had to go shopping this morning to restock our chest freezer. In the midst of Devin getting ready for the trip, on Wednesday, he discovered that our freezer had somehow stopped working. (The problem was something about a reset button that got tripped, so the silver lining is that the freezer is still operational). Now all of our food had been sitting in there for at least days, just melting and stinking up the place. Nothing was salvagable. So, he cleaned out the freezer, threw everything away, and now, we start over.

Well, if you've made it through all my ramblings, you have my appreciation. I hope your Saturday is the best that it can be.

Happy birthday Heather!

This post is for my sister-in-law Heather. I just wanted to wish her a very happy 30th birthday and let her know that I love her. Now, I'm going to sing to her.

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Heather, happy birthday to you!!!!

I love you Heather.

Another disappointment and heartbreak

It's with a sad heart that I write this blog post. I checked my score today for the last part of the exam I took and I didn't pass. A 75 is needed and for the 2nd time on this test, I got a 73. I've taken this part a total of 4 times now and even come closer than the 73, which would be when the graders gave me a 74. How do they sleep at night, I wonder?

I found out at work so of course many of my colleagues saw me with tears streaming down my face. Many of them know the pain of struggling with this exam. They are all very supportive. Devin's been great. Reynna gave me a hug when I got home and said she was sorry. It's just so hard failing again and again. The time I spend studying and the money paid for the privilege of taking the exam are so much.

I sometimes wish that I had never decided that becoming a CPA was something that I wanted. I will persevere, however. I've invested too much and I won't let this defeat me. The people at NASBA are trying to defeat me but I'll pick myself up and keep on going. I suppose it's the only thing that I can do.

On a different note, Devin and the kids got home earlier this week. It was great to have some quiet time but I'm glad they're back.

Thanks for your visit and comments. I hope you have a great Thursday night.